Hilarious. Valentine's Day Came From India.

You have to read this with an Indian accent. Compliments of Hema.



Not-withstanding, what nonsense you've been told by a priest, the truth is that the Valentine Day was originated in India, and to top it, in Gujarat – a state of Mahatma Gandhi who preached Non-violence! Interested? ...........................................Read further.

Well, it is well known what the people in Gujarat are like, especially the Patel men folk. It is a known fact that they (Patels) don't treat the opposite sex (their Patalanis) with the respect; some of the firebrand members of the opposite sex(wives) thought they deserved.

One fine day, one brave Patalani (Patel lady - her name is thankfully lost in oblivion), had enough of "Atyachar"(Torture) perpetrated on her, by her husband, and then she finally chose to rebel by beating up her husband with a Belan...Yeah, the same Belan with which she made chapattis for him everyday; only this time, instead of the dough, it was the husband who was flattened like a chapatti, albeit an oblong one.

This was a momentous occasion for all the Gujarati women and a revolt soon spread, like a wild fire, with several housewives beating up their, bad as well as good, husbands with Belan; and there was an outburst of moaning chapattis all over Anand and Ahmedabad.

This was a long time, some 400 years ago, when Mahatma Gandhi was not around. The Patel men folk learnt their lesson and behaved a bit better with their Patalani partners. However, there was no putting down the burgeoning feminist spirit of the times, and each year that day the womenfolk, if only gingerly and lovingly, as a token gesture, beat up their husbands to commemorate that eventful day, which had contributed substantially to better their lot.

The men folk also submitted to this, in good humor, since they didn't really get beaten up anyways. The entire ritual soon became a caring and loving affair, with wives having the satisfaction of beating up their husbands, their husbands cringing in mock fear and pain, and the guys having the supreme joy of submitting to the whims of the women they loved. This custom continued for many years, even when the British occupied India.

As Gujarat fell more and more under the influence of Western Culture and language, some of the more fashionable and educated women, sometimes wearing leather boots and clothes (this even created a fad for leather Belans for a short time, but it soon passed, as they could not use them to make chapattis) on that day appeared with a Belan in hand, and called out to their husbands "Belan time" before starting off.

This was noticed by the British, and they were quite amused and endeared by the peculiar ritual. They also saw it for what it really was, i.e. a manifestation of love, not of hate. The ritual soon spread to Britain and many other Western countries, -specifically, the catch words "Belan time!". Of course in their foreign mouths, it was bastardized to "Velan time" and then to "Velantine". And from that day onwards, 14th of February, since it was indeed that day that 400 years ago an irate Gujarati Patalani housewife nearly committed man-slaughter, came to be known as Valentine's Day. The custom of hitting with Belans died a natural death, but 14th of Feb still stands as a symbol of undying and universal love.


And as Paul Harvey would say…
“And now you know the rest of the story”